Thank you so much for this - it is very powerful to read... I think because I recognise much of myself in this!
Moving to somewhere that I really love living, and having started in a job that I'm really enjoying, have happened really recently for me, and both of them have made such a big difference to my general well-being levels... to an extent I never anticipated.
It has taken a lot of therapy but I have changed some things about how I relate to my family - it's still an ongoing process of negotiation! - and it has been my experience that actually being able to talk about these powerful family things is half the battle - even if they don't seem to get resolved, the fact of actually breaking the silence seems to be really powerful...
"I didn't expect to be a single lady with cats in my forties, but this is definitely the sanest and happiest I've ever been. I will say that I read the blogs of younger single women who are anguished, saying "people tell me I'll meet the Right One. When??" and I have the urge to say, 'Maybe never. But you'll be okay, honest.'" I LOVE THIS SO MUCH! Please say that to them! Please!
I have moments of that anguish - I try not to let myself do it to myself now - it's not helpful... And I look at where I am now, and I can honestly say if this is how my life pans out for the next ten/twenty years, that will be pretty damn good, and that's the first time ever... I saw Ann Widdicombe on Piers Morgan - she's a UK politician who's famously single and celibate, and she was such an amazing advocate for ending up single and having a fantastic, interesting, fulfilling life - PM kept asking her why she wasn't in a relationship, and she said to him 'what is so hard to understand about 'it just didn't happen'?!' So true!
And this "I wish I hadn't wasted so much of my youth being unhappy and afraid of everything, but at least I'm doing better moving forward." - I can totally relate to this too. I wish I didn't get so anxious about things, but at least now I feel like I AM moving forward...
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Moving to somewhere that I really love living, and having started in a job that I'm really enjoying, have happened really recently for me, and both of them have made such a big difference to my general well-being levels... to an extent I never anticipated.
It has taken a lot of therapy but I have changed some things about how I relate to my family - it's still an ongoing process of negotiation! - and it has been my experience that actually being able to talk about these powerful family things is half the battle - even if they don't seem to get resolved, the fact of actually breaking the silence seems to be really powerful...
"I didn't expect to be a single lady with cats in my forties, but this is definitely the sanest and happiest I've ever been. I will say that I read the blogs of younger single women who are anguished, saying "people tell me I'll meet the Right One. When??" and I have the urge to say, 'Maybe never. But you'll be okay, honest.'" I LOVE THIS SO MUCH! Please say that to them! Please!
I have moments of that anguish - I try not to let myself do it to myself now - it's not helpful... And I look at where I am now, and I can honestly say if this is how my life pans out for the next ten/twenty years, that will be pretty damn good, and that's the first time ever... I saw Ann Widdicombe on Piers Morgan - she's a UK politician who's famously single and celibate, and she was such an amazing advocate for ending up single and having a fantastic, interesting, fulfilling life - PM kept asking her why she wasn't in a relationship, and she said to him 'what is so hard to understand about 'it just didn't happen'?!' So true!
And this "I wish I hadn't wasted so much of my youth being unhappy and afraid of everything, but at least I'm doing better moving forward." - I can totally relate to this too. I wish I didn't get so anxious about things, but at least now I feel like I AM moving forward...
Thank you...